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Family scapegoats with years of healing: what events or thoughts precipitated your full acceptance of your family's narcissistic dynamic? Can you share your inner thoughts as you reached it? How do we know when we have reached full acceptance?

11.06.2025 04:46

Family scapegoats with years of healing: what events or thoughts precipitated your full acceptance of your family's narcissistic dynamic? Can you share your inner thoughts as you reached it? How do we know when we have reached full acceptance?

They don't love you.

They enjoy hurting you.

You’ll know you've reached full acceptance when you receive a hoover and send it straight to spam/trash without an emotional reaction, or a second thought about it.

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The most important things to realize:

Recognizing the darkness in yourself allows you to see it very clearly in others. A narcissist is consumed with darkness. That is: deceit, sadism, and ego.

The family's “in group” do not have intimate relationships. They are transactional and look down on each other. In other words, you aren't missing anything.

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Your life is better in every single way without them.

You will never be enough no matter what you do. At best, they will make backhanded compliments or just ignore you.

In that sense, acceptance is strongly related to building awareness.

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

You don't owe them anything.

When you recognize your own darkness, you will see it in them, and see them for who they actually are as people. Then it will become easy to drop them from your life.